It's keeping me up tonight

A crime of passion. A passion so compelling that it overtook a life tonight.
We live in a terrible world.
Hate and fear walk so closely together that it's hard to tell where one stops and the other begins.
These things consume.

I was not there. I did not witness. But the description of a blood-stained sheet exiting a house to an ambulance that has no need to run it's sirens or lights and the confusion and terror and anger and fear that permeated the air are circling inside of my head.

I want to cry and scream. I want to conjure up anger at this situation. But anger leads to hate. And I know that they are connected. And then there is fear, fear is the before and the after and the in-between. Fear births anger and hate and is also born of the anger and hate. How awful it is to live with fear, in fear.

I do not want to fear. And I won't. I know tomorrow I will carry the hope for myself and dozens of others. But tonight hope is a heavy burden and despair is settling in like a persistent fog. Because even if I don't give into the fear, others will, have, do and that is a dark hole to claw out of.